Someone Else's Journey

My sister is hurting.

So many questions. Frustrations. Confusion.

Unanswered questions.

Unanswered prayers.

Why is it this way?

What am I supposed to do?

What's right? What's wrong?

How can I make things different?

And she calls me in tears.

And I cry right alongside.

Because I know.

It is a journey I have walked.

I know all. too. well.

I empathize. I encourage. I pray.

And I hang up.

And a part of my heart leaps in excitement.

I really do know I am weird.

I know I have an odd (in the eyes of many) view of God and my temporary journey in this realm.

I know I am vocal and that can make many uncomfortable.

I know that I get frustrated with the status quo and get annoyed at my own frustration.

And my weirdness causes my heart to celebrate for my sister.

No, I do not celebrate her pain. No, I do not proclaim the joy in her hurting heart.

But, you see, I am on the other side.

I was there. Right where she is - standing on the precipice of a life changing journey.

Fearful to stretch out my hand to take the Mighty One extended to me.

Hesitant to walk into that dark abyss of the unknown with only Him at my side.

Uncertain of what lies ahead.

I was there. I know it all too well.

But, I celebrate because I know that should she muster up the courage to take that first step, what lies ahead for her is a Great Adventurous Love story that will...

Change. Her. Life.

So, I pause. And I pray. And I wait with baited breath. And tear-filled eyes.

Because I want her to know You as I know You.

I want her to experience the indulgent Love you offer.

I want her to know the euphoria of being relentlessly loved.

I know right now her heart hurts. And questions. And waits.

And she's embarked on a journey of which I refuse to rob her.

I will simply walk alongside.

Arms around.

Whispering to her out of the outpouring in my heart.

Grateful for the ringside seat to witness her Amazing Adventure.

Just When I Think I've Got It All Figured Out...

Isn't it fun when a plan comes together? Isn't that exciting? But sometimes...it doesn't work out that way.

Boy, just when I think I've got all the answers, God smiles on me (and probably smirks a little) and reminds me that I am, in fact, still growing and learning.

I experienced this week another one of those times when I really just knew in my gut what I was supposed to be doing for the cause of Christ only to be humbled once more.

Nope, God said. Not quite. Not just yet.

Wrong motives. Wrong focus. Wrong timing.

• You see, it's not that my motives were necessarily impure. But they are certainly not mature enough to be where I thought God wanted me.

• And my focus was certainly on Him. But more than that, my focus was on MY ideas of how I should be serving and not on surrendering my life and purpose to HIM.

• And timing? Absolutely off-kilter. I have been called right now, at this time in my life, to provide for my family and clean up the monstrous financial mess that I have received.

I've said it before, and true to form here I am: I am a Dreamer. Always one foot in the nebula.

And I. Dream. Big.

And when you are so incredibly in love as I am, those Dreams are even bigger as I conspire to 'slosh God's Love on all that I meet.'

So, what it comes down to is: do I trust God's Dreams to be bigger and better than my own?

Right now, this sums it up:

"Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." ~Rom 12:1-3MSG

My everyday, walking around life, called to provide for and raise a family - given over to God.

My life and service to Him are not about what I can do for God. It is nothing but the outpouring from within of all that He has done for me.

Today, yes, I will be content to be a nosehair/toenail/eyelash in the body of Christ.

Trying to 'Get It'

Did you know?

That rude woman who just brushed past you at Walmart doesn't know how she is going to pay her rent this month.

That fellow school mom who is never friendly to you is hiding her husband's infidelity.

That coworker of yours who never steps up as a leader is struggling with secret addiction.

That friend you attend church with has committed the sin you just condemned as unforgivable.

Why do we think we have all the answers?

How is it that we define the mind of God based on our own, limited, human understanding?

I've had those days. Those bad, bad days. Where I had no choice but to face the world and my tasks in it. And I know I was not friendly to others. And I know I was not thoughtful of others.

And I thank my God for that grace that rained down on me from above on those days.

I've also had those other days.

Those judging, condemning, selfishly short-tempered days.

And I thank my God for the grace that rained down on me from above on those days.

Too.

We do not have all the answers.

We do not know all that another is facing.

And we do not hold their future. Or forgiveness. Or destiny. In our hands.

Who am I to claim that another is not forgiven?

Who am I to declare myself legislator?

We are called to love with Jesus Love.

Am I doing that?

Most days, humbly I confess, No.

God is calling me to live out my Faith. And His Love.

Pray I'll listen.

Remember. To Forget.

She was lost.

Truly. Lost.

Deceived - Misled - Arrogant - Greedy - Needy.

And Lost.

Then Broken.

And now - - -

Shamed.

Humiliated.

Naked.

Debased.

Demeaned.

And Shattered.

And thrust Face-to-Face with - - -

Judgment.

Hatred.

Punishment.

Ridicule.

Abandonment.

Sentence.

Intolerance.

Death.

And Flung at the Dusty, Worn Out Feet of - - -

The Originator of Compassion.

Questions.

Trembling.

Shame.

Sorrow.

Regret.

Remorse.

And Fear.

Unexpected Calm.

Compassion.

Forgiveness.

Direction.

-

-

Hope.

Fresh Start.

Clean Slate.

Washed Clean.

New Life.

Profound Change.

-

-

-

But, Now and Then...

Distant Whispers.

Blatant Damnation.

Calloused Hearts.

Judgment Calls.

Forgiveness - - - Forgotten.

Heart - - - Re-broken.

-

-

-

Remember:

Cross = Sin Obliterated.

Jesus = Boundless Grace.

I was that woman.

You were that woman.

We all are that woman.

Amazing.

Grace.

A Thank You

I have this certain friend.

One of those behind the scenes, never makes a fuss, out of the limelight friends.

And one of those always-got-your-back friends.

I've been a single mom for longer than some of you may realize. And along with single parenthood, for me, came significant more responsibility. I am now completely responsible not only for all housework but now lawn care, home maintenance, and all finances. I've had to learn a lot and work a lot and I am grateful for the energy and ability to do what I have done.

But, there are often long, hard days filled with leaky pipes, broken lawn mowers, peeling paint, broken doors...all after working my two jobs to make ends meet.

And, at the end of those long, hard days, the easy route to take is the one of self pity and the feel-sorries.

But ...

I have this one particular friend, as I mentioned earlier.

This friend, of his own accord, has gone out of his way to help me.

He has lined up workers to fix my porch, cut down and haul off the fallen tree in my yard, repair the water damage to my ceiling, and mow my lawn. All at his own expense because he knows I cannot afford to pay for these things. He has bought me a lawn mower. And has been one of my protectors.

He's encouraged me to write. And constantly asks me what needs to be done.

And I could never thank him enough.

Because, you see, he is one of those friends who has gone beyond the hug and the prayer (both of which I am always thankful for) to the realm of practicality.

I cannot fix my ceiling. I cannot chop up a tree. And I've not yet been able to afford to pay someone to. And he looks at me and sees beyond the surface to the real, day-to-day needs that someone in my position has.

He has never asked for a thank you. He is actually one of those people that I could forget to thank and he would never mention it. He simply does for others out of the servant heart God has given him. He neither asks nor expects anything in return. In fact, he has only asked me one thing in return: Keep Blogging.

I am humbled. And I am grateful beyond words. And this required more than the "thank you" that I extend with humble heart when I see him at church. This required more than even the Thank You note that I could scribe.

My gratitude overwhelms my heart.

Thank you, my friend.

Battle

"No one is listening to you."

(That is a lie)

"No one cares what you have to share."

(Someone needs what you have to share)

"No one will believe your testimony of faith."

(You sharing it builds your faith)

"Your past lends you no credibility."

(Neither did the past of the woman at the well)

"People will think you are strange."

(GOOD!)

"You're just being emotional and dramatic."

(The accuser is just trying to shut you up)

"God did not really speak to you."

(Yes, He actually, really did.)

"Speaking out makes no difference."

(To even just one it could make all the difference)

"You're afraid."

(Do it afraid)

"You're not eloquent."

(Say it anyway)

"You're awkward."

(Do it anyway)

"No one will understand."

(Share it anyway)

Share Anyway...

Share Anyway...

Share Anyway...

One Exciting Adventure

What are your plans?

What are your hopes and dreams for your life?

Do you ever sit and think to yourself: This is NOT what I had planned for my life?

I've thought a lot about that one lately. Many times over the last couple of years I have sat in disbelief at the path my life has taken. Not in any way, shape, or form as I had anticipated. Not what I had planned.

You see, I was a planner. I liked lists and tasks and completing them one by one. I liked knowing where I was going and what would happen when I would get there.

In many ways I still am that way. But, I have also been pushed outside of that comfort zone into the realm of adventure. It is easy to see our lives turning out differently than we plan as failures, disappointments or shortcomings. But, I have been challenged to see it more as...

An Adventure.

I've thought a lot lately about the path my life is on now. Again, different than I had planned. Not in the least the way I had expected. But, so much more of an adventure than I had ever dreamed.

I've secretly wanted to be one of those people who can just pack up and head out at a moment's notice, trekking toward the horizon awaiting the next crusade around the corner. That's never been 'me.'

I have, however, begun to look more at my life that way: as One Exciting Adventure.

I don't put all of my eggs into the basket of my own plans much any more. Things are less exciting and much less successful when I am in the driver's seat anyway. So, I've worked at surrendering my plans and purpose as best I can.

That's the Greatest Adventure I can imagine at this phase in my life. Often I think I have it figured out - what my purpose is - what the plan is for my life. And then, again, I will realize it has changed. That is because I believe my purpose does change. Often. With each circumstance. With each season of life.

And I realized yesterday:

My purpose today is to be a Bridge...