Time

Where has it gone?

Yes, I've been away for a bit.

Not intentionally.

Well...maybe.

A couple of weeks ago my family went on an electronics fast.

It began as some discipline for the child who uses it the most. But, as I began to think through my reasonings for withholding that privilege, I began to see the need for a 'time out' for myself as well. So, for a week, all three of us went on a no TV, no computer (except for work and school), no DS, no Wii, no electronics break.

It was so refreshing.

And renewing.

And enlightening.

We found ourselves doing other things, just as I knew we would.

And I spent many hours contemplating...

Time.

This is not a new concept. The idea of 'not enough hours in the day' and 'wasting time.'

Others are on this journey as well. I hear of friends who really evaluate the time 'wasted' on Facebook, Pinterest, surfing the web or browsing online. That has been a weakness of mine. And I've taken breaks before, simply to dive right back in when the allotted time has past.

Except for this time.

This time was different.

This 'Time' was different.

I am not sure why. All I do know is that some things are starting to finally, deeply, sink in.

My kids and I don't watch television enough to justify what I was paying per month on cable. And when we did watch, it was often the same episodes over and over because, let's face it, there is precious little on television these days that I find acceptable for my children to view. And I don't like to watch a lot of television, but I had to sit with them in order to supervise adequately my oldest child's 'channel surfing.'

So, away it went. Last week in fact. No TV. At all.

And, honestly, I do not miss it.

My house is quieter.

I am more productive.

My kids are more active.

And less angry.

Less irritable.

Less annoyed with the world.

Unrelated? Maybe.

But, I'll take it.

I am on a journey. Most of you have gathered quite a while ago.

Part of this journey is my transformation to be different from this world.

For my family, this is a step in the 'radical' direction.

Maybe you're already there. Maybe not.

Either way, this is where I am in my walk.

First things first.

This is only the beginning.

I am on a journey to simplify my life.

Partly for my sanity.

Partly because...

Why?

Why keep all this 'stuff'?

Why hoard things I MIGHT use 'someday'?

Why pile stacks upon stacks upon stacks of 'stuff' away in a corner?

The truth is: I am told that this world is NOT my home.

I am simply preparing. Learning. Growing. Maturing.

Storing away treasures in my Eternal Home.

*deep sigh*

*longing for the face-to-face*

So, it begins here:

Re-evaluation of my time.

My space.

My use of the 'time' I have been given.

I am tired of doing nothing but merely dashing from one place to the next only to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

Wake up call this week: Dashing from work to grab the broken-armed child to rush him to the orthopedist's office, I was stopped by a precious sister who simply asked me one thing:

"When you have a minute, I just need to have a good cry."

Opened Eyes.

Screeching Halt.

This sister has been faced with pain that no one on earth should have to bear: the possibility of losing a precious child in her life.

You know what? I found that minute.

And I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Next on the agenda...

Prioritizing...

Who Are You Listening To?

I have amazing friends.

I have known this. It is not news. Yet, last week, I was overwhelmed with love surrounding me as I celebrated my birthday. I spent the week looking around me feeling loved by so many: so many well wishes, cards, laughter, hugs - all for me in celebration.

So, how is it that one negative a few days later can seem to negate all the positive?

Why do we listen mostly to those things which tear us down?

Yesterday = Bad. Day.

In my work.

In my personal life.

In my family.

Across the board - yuck.

Bad memories resurfaced.

Accusations accosted.

Lies told.

Justifications made.

I sat on my porch this morning, unable to utter words to the Great Love. Just sitting in silence watching the world awaken and trying to soak in a droplet of Grace.

And He read my mind. He read my heart.

And He reminded me...

...of truth:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."~Ps 139:13-14

' “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.' ~2 Cor. 12:9

"In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." ~Phil 1:4-6

I know who I am. I know who God is molding me into being. I know what He's brought me through. I know how He has changed me.

And I will not let one negative (and false, mind you) accusation negate all the good - all the truth - stemming from God in my life.

I will not listen to the lies. I will not listen to the Accuser. I will not be torn down.

I will sit, soaking up a downpour of Grace, and remember the One who has written my name on the palms of His hands. (Isa. 49:16)

Because He loves me.

And that is all I need to know.

A New

New...

New poofy white blooms on the Bradford Pear trees next door.

New bird babies consuming the air with the melody of morning.

New tiny specks of deep purple peeking out from the Redbud branches.

New deep green blades of grass emerging.

New aroma of lemon as the purging of winter dust begins.

New moments to breathe in fresh air.

New seasons of ball.

New sandals.

New...

Beginnings:

To open your eyes to the Creation around you.

To pull weeds.

To forgive.

To dive in to Grace.

To create a better 'you'

New Air.

New Life.

New Dawn.

Close your eyes.

Inhale deeply.

Soak in the new, warm sun.

And breathe in...

The New.

Mission

Today is my Birthday.

There is something about special days.

Milestones.

Markers in life.

And don't even think these momentous days go unnoticed by God. Yes, every day is created by Him and therefore a gift in and of itself. But, special events and occasions are special to Him as well. Just review the significance of the Passover, Feasts and Celebrations. You'll see that our God is a celebratory and occasion-honoring God.

I spent this morning doing my very favorite things:

Coffee

Front Porch

Morning Chat with my Great Love

And I thought about my life and what God has brought me through. Where He is leading and His calling on me. Honestly, not very different from any other day. I listened to His gentle reminding that while it is good for me to spread grace to the world around me, I need to accept His in my own walk a little more. And I renewed my commitment and deepest desire to live my life with one mission...

I have one goal.

I have one desire.

Truly.

I want everyone I know, meet, experience a moment in this life with - to

Know. God's. Love.

And, as you walk alongside me, I give you full permission to remind of this when those moments come that I am not walking in Love. Hold me accountable.

My prayer.

My goal.

My ultimate desire.

That you may know...

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~Eph 3:14-19

To know this Love.

It is Life-Changing

DNA-Altering

World-Transforming

It is Power.

So, as I prance around, tiara and all, celebrating today...may I slosh God's Love on all around me.

May you feel it. Be sloshed upon.

And slosh back...

Turning the Spotlight Around

Something has been stirring...

Deep, deep within...

A burning...

A searching...

A yearning to truly change the world...

And I've felt stifled and held back.

Shut down.

Ignored.

And Saturday I realized why.

Have you ever really longed to do something great?

Have you ever felt called by God to make a difference?

And then been too frustrated with your surroundings to make that difference? To do that great thing?

I have. And lately, I have feel that. Much.

Frustrated. Annoyed. Angry. Irritated.

Alone.

Truth is: I had gotten distracted.

One of the greatest weapons used against us is this distraction: To focus on others instead of ourselves.

It truly matters not what another is doing. Or not doing.

What matters is: what am I doing for my Great Love?

What am I doing to change the world?

And if the answer is: nothing - because I've been too frustrated with the world around me to muster up the gumption to change it - then I need to:

Shut up.

Step up.

And Change. Me. First.

Change Begins Here.

Too Far

Without Winter I could not fully appreciate Spring. I love the seasons...

But...I've been a grump.

I could blame the weather, but I've kinda been taught a little too much to fall back on past excuses. I've been distracted, angry, resentful, judgmental, and envious at times.

All of these I know, but I continue to be plagued.

And then someone will say just the right thing at just the right time to welcome me back to reality.

I cannot be guilted into things very well. When I am stressed, it does me precious little good for someone to look at me in the midst of it and say, "You need to realize how blessed you are." My head knows I am blessed. But, when I am juggling jobs and bills and arguing kids, and schedules and external demands, it is hard to stop and think, "Wow! I've got it GOOD!"

I also take direction from know-it-alls with a grain of salt. Often, as a matter of fact, MOST of the time these 'all-knowing' friends are the ones who know the least about my life struggles day to day. I surely don't want instruction from them.

No, for me, my humbling comes in the form of a lesson learned most often from the unlikely source.

This week, it was simple statement from a friend, "I've come too far to turn back now."

Speaking of her Adventure with God. And the conscious decision to walk away from her old life. I heard in her voice the strength that comes only from a relationship with Him. A relationship I 've been blessed to walk alongside and witness.

And it humbled me.

Looking at this precious friend, taking one day at a time and seeking her Great Love in the day to day scenarios of life, I was humbled and jolted back to reality.

I cannot fall back into old excuses.

I cannot fall back into old mindsets.

And negativity.

And selfishness.

And world-focus.

I've come too far with Him to turn back now...

Tantrums

What a whiny child I can be.

How often do we hear our children chime out the familiar anthem,

"If you loved me you would..."

Thus the message: Love = Getting My Way.

And, often, we as parents fall for that.

Thank Heavens our Father does not fall for that. Ever.

His wisdom astounds all as He never fails to give us what we need.

Not necessarily what we want.

I've asked for many a thing in my life and not received. And we all know hindsight is 20/20.

But in the moment I am too distracted by my deep-seeded desire to focus on His infinite and never failing wisdom.

Just. Like. A. Child.

And, like children, we throw tantrums and whine and weep and wail over not getting what we think is best and lament that "God doesn't love me!!"

And declare ourselves to be the Favorite when we are graced with those momentary blessings.

(Ugh that's a pet peeve of mine).

Like a true Father - like the perfect, original, Divine example of Fatherhood, God grants what we need.

And sometimes, what we need is a good, stern "No."

And, I will yet again, look back one day soon and see His amazing wisdom and strength in the face of my tantrum and be truly grateful that He could see past my outburst to the future that He has designed for me.

Just like a child...