Listen

And act.

I pride myself on being a good listener. Sometimes, it can be a lonely place; to be the listener. I am blessed that my Great Love listens to me, even when I rant or cry or lament the same worries over and over.

Yet, it's when I listen that I become more fully blessed.

Yesterday, in my porch time, longing for direction and encouragement and peace, asking for those needs to be met, I pondered God's word and was at a loss as to which way to go. You see, I've been tremendously malnourished lately. Not feeding my soul like I should, and I was struggling with where to 'begin again.'

And "Joel" came to my mind.

Joel? Really? OT prophet Joel? Nah, that's not God speaking to me. That's just my ponderings on where to go today; a desire to wander off the beaten path.

"Joel"

No, really. My mind is messing with me. God, where will you lead me today...

Work, errands, housework, toe-painting...

End of the day.

"Joel"

OK, fine. I'll read Joel. But, I know my mind was just wandering this morning...

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten...You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed." (Joel 2:25-26)

You see what you get when you listen?

I removed my glasses, buried my face in my hands, and wept.

Oh, how God sees me and knows EX-ACT-LY what I need to hear from His Almighty Self.

Yet, don't just listen.

Do.

A Reminder

I. Am. Hated.

And today, that filled me with inexplicable joy.

There are events in our lives which are difficult and trying because they are the consequences of our sin and bad decisions and the sin and bad decisions of the loved ones in our lives.

But then, there are those events which are nothing but sheer and utter, out-of-the-blue, where the *@! did that come from, moments. Painful. Shocking. Shove-you-down. Knock the wind out of your chest. Devastating. Scary. Life-altering moments.

Very recently. There. I was.

So, several sleepless nights later, picking up pieces and sweeping up aftermath, I find myself on my porch.

Days I've spent asking: Why? How? Purpose? Where are you in all of this, Great Love of mine?

Let me remind you of something: I know that I am the favorite. And I know why. And it is not because things go my way. In fact, it is definitely NOT on those days when circumstances are smiling on me and all that I love shines forth and all is how I want it to be.

It's in moments like this event in my life, when I am reminded why I. AM. THE. FAVE.

Because I am hated. I am hated by the adversary. I am hated by the accuser. I am hated by the father of lies. You know him as satan. I know him as my true and only enemy. And the reason I am so hated by him, is because God has something He needs me to do, and my enemy is trying to stop me from doing it.

Did you hear me? Do you get that? The Almighty Creator of the Universe, My Lord and Savior, My Great Love, has a duty for me. And let me tell you, this past week I have seen that it must be a big one. Because satan has never been more determined to destroy me.

And yes I hurt. And I cried. And I was abandoned. And I was angry (not at God). And I struggled.

And I searched...

And I found, once again, my answer.

This morning, on my porch, God gently spoke the words to me: "Get. Back. Up."

Who am I that the Lord of all Creation has a job for me? Who am I that God desires to use me so much that satan is so determined to destroy me?

If anyone EVER looks to me and says, "I want to be like her. I want her faith. She is so strong."

STOP. IT.

I am nothing. Repeat: nothing. It is nothing but my Lord and Savior passionately pursuing me with a vengeance.

I consider it an honor and a blessing that God has called me to serve Him. It is an honor I am unworthy of. It is also an honor to be struck down by my adversary that I can remotely claim to suffer for my cause.

I bear my scars with pride. I take joy in Getting Back Up, declaring God's victory, and stomping all. over. this. attack.

Because, hear me loud and clear because I know you are listening, you lying sack of crap:

You've done nothing but tick me off. And you should know by now that every time you knock me down, I get back up stronger, more determined, and more IN LOVE WITH MY CREATOR.

Because it is not me.

And because it is not me, I am victorious.