Slavery

I am a slave.
Profound.
Yet, inherently obvious.

I've spent the last couple of years focused on what I've termed 'cleaning up financial messes' and trying to get on track by paying off debt that accrued over the past 8 years and getting back into good credit status.
My ideas were good.
My goals realistic and worthy.
But something was lacking.
Months ago I lamented to God how weary I was of the same struggles, over and over again.
And I asked "How long?  How long will I face the same issue with no reprieve?"
And He simply answered, "You're not ready yet."

I knew His answer.  I didn't like it.  I didn't understand it.  

Now, I do.

The last couple of months I have reached the point of
Enough.

I've.  Had.  Enough.

But possibly not in the sense you may think.

Decluttering my home.
Being diligent with money.
Paying bills.
Eating away at debt.
Good things.  Honorable things.
But annoying me immensely because I realized how
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G
I do revolves around this one thing.

Money.

I am not materialistic.  I do not have expensive tastes or desire fancy things.
But I am a slave.
Because of debt.
And I sat on my couch and realized how much energy, sleep, time, and effort are spent on that
And NOT on serving God by serving others.

I sat on my couch, looked at the beautiful home around me and thought,
"If this is what it takes to stay living in this house, then I'm out.
Life is too short and there is too much need in the world around me to be expending this much energy on four walls."

*That* was the point God was waiting for:
For me to reach the point where it was no longer about the money.
It was now about Him.
Living for Him.
Serving Him.
Wanting more of Him and wanting to do more for Him.
My love for my house and my stability and my 'security' had eclipsed my love for Him.
And as I began to realize that, my love towards my belongings began to turn to hate.  I began to despise what I own.  It has begun to sicken me.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Mt. 6:19-21, 24

Despise.  Hate.
Strong words.
Powerful.
And becoming true for me.

And that, my friends, is where I am.
I am DONE being a slave.
To my 'stuff'.
To my debt.

Debt is not God's plan.
And He states clearly, 
"The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender." ~Proverbs 22:7

I have been a slave.
And now I am done.

And I am not approaching this with the wisdom of the world.
One way or another over the next few months, things will change.  I may have to move. I may not.  God has that already figured out and I trust His plan.  It has been nothing short of miraculous that I have stayed in this huge house for as long as I have-I know that His hand was in that.  His hand is in my today and in my tomorrow.  I just know this was where He was waiting for me to be before things could change.

That is why I purge.
Oops, I am jumping ahead of myself.
I may blog about that next.

For now, I will leave you with this:

What are you a slave to?
For you it may be different than my bondage.
Whatever it is, there are countless books and gurus and well-meaning friends with advice and worldly wisdom that may be bombarding you constantly.

For me it came down to this:

Where is my mind, and energy, and time being spent?
On living the Kingdom-Life Here and Now?

Or on things of the world?

Ouch.

Goodbye chains.