Fully In The Moment

I met someone new a few weeks ago.  A coworker.  And every time I am around her, there is something that stands out about her.  She seems filled with peace.
She is always smiling.
She is always easy-going, helpful, and positive.
I do not know her well.  I do not know if she is a believer.
But
She stands out.
And I asked myself, "As a believer...
Do. I. Stand. Out?"


I am a dreamer.  And I dream big.  
And I've struggled for quite a while lately with this 'stirring' within my spirit...
A longing...
To change the world.
To make a difference.
To live an Adventure for the Messiah.


My life does not feel like an Adventure.
It is where I am.
Truthfully, it is where I am called to be right now.
I know this. I've prayed over this.
This is my present calling:
To raise my children and clean up financial messes post-divorce.
It often feels hum-drum.
And mundane.
And boring.
I'm OFTEN looking for ways to stir things up.
To be different.
To release the hold of conformation into the world's likeness.
But...
Work, housework, kids, bills, homework, activities...
NOT an adventure.


Or is it?


This morning's revelation took place like this:
"God, I am just afraid...
Of falling back into old habits.
Old patterns.
Old excuses like 'I'm doing the best I can.'
I want to be different and stand out.  I want to make a difference.
I don't want to live this day-in day-out life just like all I those I see around me simply because I don't want to be out of my comfort zone.  I am afraid of losing my Fire. 
I am afraid of losing my Focus.
I am afraid..."


And before I could finish the next sentence, 
God asked me:
"Why would you be afraid to be in the place I've called you to be?"


Dead stop.


Exactly.


If I am where God has called me to be, isn't that Adventure enough?


My focus so often is on MY idea of service that I forget, sadly, to surrender each day to God's purpose for my life...
That. Day.


It's all I've got.


And today...
I will live fully in each moment.