I Am Addicted to Jalapeno Cheetos

I have consumed more than my fair share of junk food lately. My schedule has become much busier than I am previously accustomed; therefore, my excuse has been that I just don't have time to prepare healthy snacks and lunches for myself.

Some of these more consistent items have included: chips, Little Debbies, sodas (and I DETEST soda), sugar-candy, jalapeno Cheetos (my personal fave), cookies, etc.

Now, before you get angry with me for making you hungry, take another look at that list. What on that list provides nourishment to my body? Nothing. Not. One. Thing.

Therefore, as yummy and enjoyable as they are in the moment (except, of course, for the sodas), they did nothing for me but poison my body. However, my body had grown accustomed to such junk. So accustomed, that it seemed normal, was of course acceptable, and definitely preferable.

Therefore, the conscious decision to not partake in such junk has had an unwelcome affect on my body. You would think that it would be thrilled to no end that I am instead filling it with healthier choices such as whole grains, more fruits and vegetables, and fresh rather than processed selections. This should be refreshing and renewing. Thus far, nope. My body is in a minor state of shock at the moment: headaches and fatigue being the main ways I know this.

Yet actual food, rather than processed junk, is true fuel for my body. It will readjust and begin to flourish and grow; be strengthened and renewed.

This morning on my porch, as I breathed in the first hints of Spring air; as I watched as the sky grew lighter behind the overcast clouds; as I heard the first of the birds waken with a new day; I became painfully aware of the toxins that I had consumed in my heart as of late:

Pride. Anger. Envy. Rage. Unforgiveness. (of myself and others)

Poison to my heart. Poison to my life. Poison to my relationships. Poison to my soul.

Yet, strangely comfortable, almost normal. Excuse filled justifications for not trusting God with my heart.

And it is not easy to take the time to rid the body of such things. It requires trusting God with my heart. Trusting the One who created that heart. Trusting the One who through the darkest time of my life desperately, passionately, relentlessly pursued that heart until He made it His own. Things may not have turned out the way I wanted them to, wrongs may not get righted, my plans may not be His plans. Yet, believing that God has it all: my circumstances, my life, my heart, my future, my family, in His almighty hands is the first healthy choice I must make.

So, emptying my heart of the junk is not easy. When you are a little too accustomed to the toxins, it is uncomfortable and strange at first. But, consumed with the love of the Great Love, I will flourish and grow; be strengthened and renewed.