Illumination

Sound, dreamy sleep.

Alarm.

Yawn.

Stretch.

Stumble.

Fumble.

Tripping, sluggish feet on the cold bathroom floor.

Flip switch.

OUCH!

Light.

Hurts! Squint. Hand-covered face.

Grumbly mumbles over morning coming too early.

Yawn.

Proceed.

You know, light shined brightly - and suddenly - into a dark place is not fun. It can be painful. It can reveal things you didn't know were there. (Ever turn on a light only to see a creepy bug in the room?) It is startling. Jolting. Awakening.

"He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light." Job 12:22

"Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." Ps 139:12

"He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart." I Cor. 4:5

Ever wonder why God shines His light into our hearts? Is it because He's a control freak and insists on having things His way? I think not and I propose a theory: Since God cannot be where darkness is; God IS light; in Him there can be no darkness - so, control freak? Or relentless lover of his creation? If He cannot be where there is darkness, the darkness has to be removed for Him to be even closer to us. I believe when He shines His light to reveal darkness in my life, He is in actuality revealing Himself to me in a more intimate way by showing me how desperately He desires to be closer to me. My darkness may be sin, deception, buried truths, or unhealed pain. Whatever my darkness is, my Great Love wants it gone simply for the purpose of being closer to me.

And God, in His unfathomable wisdom, has a way with timing. He is never late. He is always on time.

I am a sucker for a good story. And over the past few weeks, I have watched three families be thrown into chaos. And over those weeks, God has drawn each story together; lives intertwined and connected in a tapestry of divine providence and direction. Each life shaken; devastated. Each life illuminated; revealed. Each life softened; drawn closer to the heart of the One who created it.

I have lived a little bit of light-shining here recently. Realizing that my heart is still hurting from my past is unnerving and difficult. Yet never have I felt more loved by the Love of my life as He has shown me that His shining the light of Himself into the darkest recesses of my heart is simply one more way He has demonstrated a passionate pursuit of ALL of me.