Absurd Arachniphobia

Sometimes you have those moments as a parent when you come face to face with your shortcomings in a very real and humbling way. One of those moments, for me, was when my daughter shrieked in terror over a tiny spider, and I realized that I had passed that fear on to her. In her sweet little preschool years, she never exhibited a fear of critters. And now suddenly the eight legged variety are horrifying to her.

I knew I had a problem when one evening my little boy, around 8 years old at the time, ran down the upstairs hallway and mentioned to me as he passed, "It's ok, mom. I'll take care of it." Thinking that he had made a mess in the bathroom and didn't want to get in trouble, I proceeded that direction to see what mess he was indeed "taking care of". He runs past me towards the bathroom, tissue in hand and says, "It's a spider, mom. But, don't worry. I've got it."

He was 8.

And taking care to alleviate the fear of his grown mother.

Yes, I laughed. But I was also humbled at that image. No 8-year-old child should have to worry about the fears of their parent. And then, quite some time later, I see this fear emerge in my daughter. I KNOW that I have passed that on to her.

I have known my entire life it is a ridiculous fear. I am a billion times larger than these creatures. But, they are ugly. And creepy. And I struggle to accept their value on the planet. When I see a spider outside, I am respectful of it since I am in its habitat. When a spider enters my house, it has taken its life in its own hands and has declared suicide. And, quite honestly, when I stumble across one in my house, I get nearly vomitous in my fear of them. Ridiculous, I know. But still...

Fear: It's a strong emotion. Some fear is quite healthy. It keeps us on our toes and active. However, it is not of God.

Fear and dread originate from our enemy. They keep us rooted in the negative and paralyze us from action. They extinguish faith. The put our focus on ourselves - and in the now.

My job involves one of the most feared issues among people: public speaking. We all fear many things: from spiders - to heights - to being alone - to death. I have loved ones in my life who are presently facing some larger fears: losing loved ones, life-threatening illnesses, endangered marriages, traumatic injuries. And my heart aches for each one.

There are all sorts of theories out there regarding how to conquer fears.

But, at the end of the day, when facing those 'big ones', this gives me comfort:

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Ps. 139:16 (yes I've referenced this one before)

God knows it all. He knows our hearts. He knows our fears. He knows our futures. There are no unknowns to God. Including the days that lie ahead of me; what struggles I will face. And what struggles my children will face. That one challenges my faith to its core.

So, yes, appreciate each moment that you have and live to the fullest. But, also, trust your future and the future of your loved ones to the Creator of each one's days. He knows - and has prepared - each one. Each day. Each experience. Each challenge.

And has granted enough Grace to you to face them one by one.

Do you trust Him?

Do you trust your Creator?