Comparison
As hard as I work to deceive those around me into thinking that I do indeed have my act together, I grow increasingly annoyed with others who seem to have their act MORE together than I do. It annoys me because it makes me appear, once again, less than.
So, I casually surround myself with others who have their act together LESS than I do and, voilà, once again I come out on top.
As if graded on a curve, I find it easy to look around me and see others who are:
Superfically:
more wrinkled
saggier
heavier
plainer
messier
lazier
grumpier
less organized
Less. Together.
And...I feel better.
I can even then compete with the 'better' group because I can knit-pick their imperfections and see their facades. I can call them 'fake' and 'phony' and swell with inner pride.
But, at the end of the day, I know the truth. I know that behind closed doors may be another story. And I can get up tomorrow making the choice to either do it all over again, or take a different outlook.
What is it about comparing that makes us feel better - or worse - about ourselves? And why do we do it? What is its purpose?
Just like everything else so far, comparisons serve to deflect the reality. To further perpetuate our illusions and masks so that we feel no need to be real. True. Transparent.
We'll use anything and everything we can find to keep from having to simply be real...
The real question is...what are we so afraid of?
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