Going Deeper

So far, I've covered issues on the surface - the ways I try to project an image I am not, or at least a better version of my true self. And I know that this is something that we all do. We can just accept that this is 'how it is' and just 'roll with it' ... or ...

We can go a bit deeper.

I'll go first.

I am prideful. Before you say, "Yes, we all are Nancy," I want to challenge you by challenging myself.

I told you a while ago a reason why I don't like Spring. Just as soon as I think I've conquered a challenge in my life, a weed, I discover it's returned. And it must be dealt with again.

My fiercest recurring weed is Pride. And I hate it.

I don't mean the kind of pride that won't ask for help when needed. I mean the kind of pride that avoids correction; that needs to be right; that wants to be the one providing the answers rather than seeking them.

I enjoy presenting a thought or idea that others find wise and challenging. I feel gratified when I challenge someone with an original concept and perspective.

And I am jealous when someone else thinks of it or shares it first.

I want to be the one with the original, thought-provoking words of wisdom.

"I can't have others thinking I am still learning!"

"I need to have all the answers already so that others will think highly of me!"

These past few days I've finally stopped to listen to the Voice who has been telling me for quite some time now that I am still learning...still growing...and that in those times when I surrender my pride to the greater Wisdom of my Great Love are the times when I learn deeper levels of wisdom and understanding and fall more deeply in love with Him.

Why would I want to fight that?

Because of me. Because of pride. Because of my selfish, vain ambition.

In the end, I'm fighting against the very thing that draws me closer to exactly where I long to be...

In His Arms.