Steps of Faith

I do not believe in coincidences.

So, when I was awakened early Saturday morning by the lightning and unable to go to sleep because worry over financial provision crept into my mind, I talked to God about it.

I remembered the experience Abraham had with provision as he walked up the mountain, fire in hand, to sacrifice his son as commanded.

This is my favorite story on provision.

“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”

Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

Abraham trusted God's provision: Jehovah Jireh, BEFORE God provided.

And God Did.

So, in my middle of the night chat, I trusted God's provision. I claimed it. Yet, I also opened my heart to Him and shared my burden of worry. Then drifted back to sleep.

So, you see, I view it as no coincidence that within a few minutes I then dreamed about that very issue. In my dream my house was in complete chaos-both emotionally and physically. Clutter was everywhere, 'stuff' strewn about, company was over. And I was busy, busy, busy running here and there trying to straighten up and clean up and make pathways throughout the house. And, I stumbled upon an accordian folder. I opened it up, and there inside, I found money I had stashed away over the months to prepare for tax season. Money I presently did not need to pay my taxes. Several hundred dollars. All, sitting there, waiting for me.

God. Provided.

No one loaned me money that I would have to pay back. No person stepped in and saved the day with their provision. It was just 'there'.

Jehovah Jireh.

And as I stood there, mouth wide open, tears in my eyes, I looked up at the room full of people in my house and wanted so desperately to share what had just happened. And I wondered if they would 'get it'. I wondered if they would see it as God's provision or just lucky coincidence.

Then I was awakened by thunder.

I spent the entire day remembering that dream. Humbled at my worry which represents my lack of faith. And I was blessed with an open door to share my dream with my children and hopefully plants seeds of faith in their precious little hearts.

Late Saturday night, as I was winding down and preparing for sleep, I thought once again about my life and my goals, and God's provision. And He spoke to me:

There are reasons I am still fully dependent upon Him for my daily bread.

My faith is not 'there' yet. It is not where He needs it to be.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

I am not quite refined.

He knows that left up to my own devices, I would not use my resources completely for His glory - completely to His purpose. I am still a little too focused on what I think is important. And not quite ready to surrender it all to Him.

And until I am where He needs me to be - He will grant me simply one day at a time.

I look at all the resources I have the capability of wasting. This is not just about money.

The Great Love has been telling me for quite a while now that He wants my all.

All.

All.

So, until I am mature enough to be trusted to surrender my All to Him, I will trust Him with All of my needs.